“Disneylanditude”

it’s been a while since my last post. i’ve bought a new car (which i’ve already lost a hubcap and scratched), my sister is now living in New Zealand for the next year, and not much else has changed with the exception of the acquisition of a parking spot (which combined with the new car payment is breaking me) and my bright idea to take the GMAT. one surprising addition to my life over the last couple of months has been the development of a friendship with a person i met over a year ago. i can’t say that it’s been restricted to merely friendship, but today i had to make the difficult decision to end the “relationship” in order to save myself from yet ANOTHER heartbreaking mistake. the truth being that it’s another case of bad timing (or so i think anyway), and for once i’m preventing the disaster that could occur a few months down the road when i’m sitting there going “wtf??!” and he’s like “what? i thought we were just friends?”. disappointing to say the least. i will definitely miss the companionship.

i discovered Blurb several months ago and started playing around with it one day while bored at work. they have a really easy-to-use desktop application that allows you to design your own book and then upload it to their website where you can order printed copies. because i’m basically obsessed with Polaroid photography, i decided to put together a short book using some of my instant photography that i have shot over the last year or so. you can tell from the alternating black and white pages that i was inspired by one of my favorite books Fifteen Things Charles and Ray Teach Us. when it was all said and done, i ordered my book hardcover in 8×10 format for about $30 (including shipping). you can also choose to publicize your book via Blurb’s website and make it available for purchase to the public. i doubt that anyone will find my measly collection of Polaroids paired with brief and somewhat indifferent captions amusing enough to buy, but it was a fun process making it for myself. because that is JUST what i need, another coffee table book.

illico res rei.

By r.j. melville

Book Preview

i think i’m in love and not with a boy, or a girl, or even another person. i think i’m in love with where i live. the dirty city of los angeles. i know this is supposed to be one of the loneliest places on earth and i can’t say i’ve been completely immune from thinking that way, but this city is amazing.  it can be whatever you want it to be. crazy or chill. glam or grunge. city or beach. fake or real. drunk or sober. it took a while to grow a little thicker skin and get used to “constant sell” attitude but thanks to a brief friendship with a magnetic personality and a recent series of unfortunate events i just sort of had this epiphany: i can do this too.

i’m not condoning any type of “fakery”. that is still something that i cannot tolerate in myself or close friends, but learning to be your own crazy self and overcoming a little bit of shyness can change your world. it’s not like i’ve completely gotten rid of my slight case of neurosis, but i finally am starting to feel free. to enjoy life. to enjoy being myself. to know who “myself” is. and it’s not like i’ve got it all figured out, but i’m OK with that. there’s plenty of areas that need a little work (including getting off my lazy bum and buying a damn fridge and a replacement spare tire for my car). but i’m getting there and enjoying the ride and that’s all a girl can ask for.

since i’ve moved to my new place, i’ve been going to ikea every weekend to get some “stuff” to put in all of the space i now have. i’ve always sort of slightly detested having to go to ikea because they’re always packed with people (even at 2:00 pm on a Wednesday), the combination of an overwhelming amount of inventory and meandering people with shopping carts who seem like they have no idea what they’re doing or where they’re going, and the fact that it makes me feel like a mouse in a maze except you actually have to pay for the treat at the end (i prefer the $1 cinnamon roll). anyway, my recent and frequent trips have caused me to realize one other aspect about shopping at the swedish superstore that is very unfortunate: the number of couples that seem like they’re about to break up and never speak again over curtains (or color of veneer, or futon style, or area rug shape). for some reason that just seems so depressing to me. partially because i completely remember what it was like to be in that situation and can definitely recall the times when i’ve been just as guilty. but, after having been single now for the past 2 1/2 years, it just seems so silly. the fact that people can honestly sit there and fight in the middle of a store in front of hundreds of people over door knobs….that’s just ridiculous. one of my favorites are the bilingual couples who think that if they argue in another language, people won’t realize that they’re, in fact, having an argument because they assume nobody can understand what they’re saying. to me, that makes it even MORE obvious.

so in addition to my usual feelings of claustrophobia, indecision, and over-stimulation yesterday, i actually was sort of depressed and amused at the same time. depressed that people allow things like ikea to get angry at their loved ones and amused because i was so happy i was alone. sure, it would’ve been nice to have someone push the flat cart so i could actually buy the wardrobe i desperately need but i’d rather do it myself than fight over a soap dish.

rj

while perusing the local used bookstore and getting acquainted with my new neighborhood last night, i came across this super cool coffee table book on Herman Miller. i can’t say that i’ve been uberly obsessed with the whole Eames/Miller/Nelson phenomenon for that long, but once i was exposed, i was hooked. big time. not really having any formal education in product design or even really any knowledge in what makes a piece of furniture an amazing piece of furniture, i can’t even say why i am drawn to the whole Eames/Miller style in an intelligent way. i just love it. call it a crush.

so i sat in the bookstore looking at this book pretty much cover to cover and wishing i had the $30 to purchase the damn thing. it would look so nice on the coffee table i don’t have [because i can't afford that either]. along with the rest of my massive collection of coffee table books [i'm obsessed]. so maybe cosmic forces will reward me for abstaining from spending that $30 so i can purchase a refrigerator–because i guess that’s probably kind of important–and when i do have the money my dear Herman Miller book will still be there.

let’s hope.

it’s been one week since i moved into my new apartment in Hollywood. still lacking a refrigerator and a proper place to hang my clothes, but i have procured a new microwave for $30 and some other minor additions for the kitchen and the bathroom. for some reason my bed feels more comfortable in my own place. not sure why. it’s still the same bed. also, due to the lack of refrigeration capabilities, i’ve had to make trips to the grocery store every night for my evening’s meal. although slightly annoying because it’s one more stop to make before going home after work, i really like it. this could just be because it’s sort of the romantic way of doing things. buy fresh. eat healthy. don’t buy more than you need (there’s no where to store it). but i also have loved my time cooking. i blame this on my grandmother. it’s also thrown me head first into life as an omnivore. my love for beans has proven gastrointestinally very problematic and tofu and other forms of protein were just not cutting it. so i’m back to a life of chicken breast and even some beef (gasp!) every now and then. honestly though, i feel much better spending my money on some meat than buying and eating a crapload of carbs and starch. breaking the hummus habit will be the next challenge.

another totally awesome thing about my new place is the extra space. i’ve been able to practice yoga twice this weekend in the comfort of my own “living room”. i’m not sure how much this will change as my interior decorating gets underway, but maybe i’ll make it a point to keep things mobile so it can continue.

goals for this next week include:

1) call the landlord and ask to have them bring me a fridge

2) stop buying hummus at the grocery store

3) make a trip to Ikea and buy some curtains & look at possible closet organization options

4) get back into the yoga habit

5) cancel my membership at the gym. who am i kidding? i haven’t gone 13 times a quarter in like 9 months.

6) keep writing!!!

until we meet again,

racheljean

well, actually, my life. my 25 year old “adult” life. out of Wisconsin for the past 2 years, 4 months, and 22 days. resident of Los Angeles (Hollywood to be exact). college educated with a degree in English literature. comfortable and semi-interesting corporate office job that i’m growing to hate a little more each day. i have health insurance! that’s a plus, but i don’t take advantage of it as much as i probably should. i hate going to the doctor. i’ve been getting better with the dentist though. proud owner of a black macbook but too poor to continue the protection plan so i hope to god nothing happens to this thing. i would cry. hard. moreso than i did when i realized i broke the lcd in the beautiful 32″ flat screen HD television my boss gave me when she relocated to Austin. that was a sad, defeated day. i’ve been carting it around ever since waiting for the day $700 falls in my lap so i can maybe fix it. maybe. the tv repairmen assured me “there are no guarantees with those things”. awesome.

so i just moved into my first studio apartment. up until now it’s been all dorms, shared houses, two bedroom apartments, and roommates. not that big of a deal i guess when you consider most of my classmates in suburban Wisconsin are buying houses, getting married, and having babies. however, it’s not 75 degrees there year around and catching a show by one of your favorite bands happens like, once a year. so you can see how i ended up here. i fit the profile. Los Angeles, the city of transient dreamers. in fact i’m dreaming right now: it’s June 1st. what kind of plan can i come up with to make rent next month? keep in mind, the rent for my modest studio apartment costs about as much as a mortgage back home in child-bearing Wisconsin. oh, the things we do to feel alive

broke and kind of loving it (i’m sure that will change),
racheljean
over & out.